Tony Stark's Guide to the Next Generation of Avengers
by eu nao falo o portugues
Summary: Hey guys! My name is Tony Stark, better known as Ironman and this is... THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO THE NEXT GENERATION! *Clapping and cheering* So to explain how this is going to go, I am going to start with the oldest kid and work my way down the line. Each chapter will explain their appearance, personality and some basic facts. I hope you all enjoy!
1. Diana Athena Barton

Name: Diana Athena Banner

Age: 26

Appearance: When she's human she's really pretty. Long messy brown hair and sparkling teal eyes. Around 5 ft 8in. Not particularly intimidating, especially after you've seen her running around in a lab coat, black with smoke, screaming about how she just blew up her work room. But when she turns into Ms. Hulk. Run your ass out. Yes, her father somehow managed to pass the burden onto his unsuspecting child. Horrible, I know. She isn't exactly like him though, because her Hulk is purple with green pants and she is much more manageable. But her Hulk is just as hard to hide, so we have to try not to get her mad. (Colin and I have to work especially hard.)

Personality: When Diana is not Ms. Hulk, she is really calm. Too calm. So calm that whenever you're around her, you're waiting for her to explode. It's pretty scary. She's also very quiet. Very, very quiet. This is mostly because she's often absorbed in her work. More than Pepper and I combined, which I think is probably unhealthy.

She can be playful and kind hearted, but it only happens when she's around kids, or when she's in an environment where she's confident the other girl won't come out. These situations are almost as rare as Colin being sweet. (Almost as rare as me being not-awesome. Wait. I'm always awesome. Scratch that.) When Diana is playful and kind, she's fun to be around. You aren't worried abut making her explode, she can deal with a little teasing, everything's cool.

When Diana is not playful and kind, she is quiet or calm or angry. You will not like her when she's angry. While she is easier to get through when she's hulk than her father is, when she gets angry, she goes on crazy rampages that usually end with my house getting messed up. (Clean up is never fun.) It's very hard not to get her angry, because her fuse is so short. That whole calm thing I mentioned before is just a facade. She is never really, truly calm, and her quietness is brought about by her constant internal struggle to keep the other girl at bay. Just thinking about this is making me nervous. I think i'm going to end this now.

Anyway, Diana is calm, kind, and all around scary to be around. She's a time bomb, as her father once said.

That was Diana. Next up Is Erik, my almost godson.


	2. Erik Andrew Barton

Name: Erik Andrew Barton

Age: 24

Appearance: I should start with height. Erik is roughly 5ft 10in and he has an athletic build. While he isn't the tallest or the strongest, he has a pretty nice six pack. (Not better than my own.) He has one brown eyes and one cloudy blue, and accident with glass as a child. Don't let that mistake you, he's a dead shot with his bow and arrow. His hair is spiky and light brown, similar in fashion to his dad's thought it's slightly shorter.

Personality: Erik is an easy guy to like. He's talkative, sarcastic and brave, though he tries not to let his emotions get in the way of what he's doing. When it comes to fighting, he prefers to be on the ground, where he can see things better. His one eye is razor sharp, and grants him perfect aim no matter where he stands. He can be cynical at times and often sees the worst side of things, but will always be there to help people. Especially a girl. (I sometimes call him Ariel because I think of The Little Mermaid when I see him.)

He is a generally calm guy too, never overreacting. (Unlike certain red heads I know. *cough* Pepper *cough*.) It's like,

Me: "Erik! Help me! I got hit by a bus!"

Erik: *Shrugs* "I'll be right there."

And he like never complains. Even less than the Cap. Wait, the cap always complains. Anyway, he takes what's handed to him and does it without question. And he never changes he allegiance, you always know that he has your back. I guess that's because his dad was like, evil for a bit and then became normal. (Nobody ever told me what really happened so...) Once he sides with you, that's it. Forever.

Erik is also really generous. He will give you the shirt off his back if he thinks it will keep you warm. He gets that from his mom. If you ever need help, he will always be there to give it. He's pretty warm hearted too, welcoming and friendly. That one comes from his dad.

Lastly, he's really protective of his little sister Angel. Really. He will kill anyone who hurts her, attack anyone who makes her cry. Even his best friend. Not that I'm talking about anyone I know. (Colin, the idiot.)

AND THAT IS MY LOVELY ALMOST GODSON ERIK! Sandy Sander is next.


	3. Sander Maximus Odin

Name: Sander Maximus Odin

Age: 24

Appearance: Sander's looks don't match his personality. His hair is short and black, his eyes are dark blue, and his skin is ghost white. In short, he looks just like Loki, except super buff and tall. His eyes do this sparkling thing when he's extremely happy, and they spark lightning when someone (Colin) makes him angry. It's pretty cool to watch.

Personality: The perfect word to describe Sander is an oaf. He is the perfect example of brawn over brains. He's really nice when he wants to be, and he has the handsomeness to be white knight, but he's just a moron. A blithering moron. If you ask him to do simple tasks, he gets side tracked on the way with every possible living and nonliving thing, so you eventually realize that you could have done the task yourself in less time. (Okay Stark. Calm down. Don't attack him.) Okay, getting to the point, Sander can be very stupid. Very, very stupid. Very, very, very- alright I'm gonna end this now.

One thing to be said about Sander is that he is as brave as he is stupid. He will always do the noble thing, no matter what the cost is. I suppose that's why he and Caroline get along so well. He loves battle with a fierce passion, and this causes him to deem himself a hero. Being a quarter god, he also has that power on his side, so I'm pretty much powerless against him. (Until I come with something better.)

Sander is also barbaric and gross. When he has dinner, he pretty much scarfs everything down in one bite, stuffing his face with food. And he burps and other nasty things like it's nothing. One wonders how he doesn't get sick from how fast he eats and drinks. (I have to hide my dinner so he doesn't get his meaty paws on it.)

On top of all of these wonderful attributes, he has about as much sense of the world as his dad the mighty god of thunder, so he gets confused constantly. If you ask him to bring you something, you have to describe it in perfect detail or he won't know what it is. (It's easier to get the damn thing yourself.) Sander also gets confused when he doesn't know how things work. Like the garden hose. That was not good at all.

Let's finish. Sander is a giant oafish, heroic, quarter god. That's pretty much it.

That was Sander. Next is Caroline. *Gulp*


	4. Caroline Peggy Rogers

Name: Caroline Peggy Rogers

Age: 24

Appearance: Okay, the Cap is standing behind me with his shield at the ready, so I better describe his daughter nicely. Caroline is a knock out. Literally. Like, she'll beat you up. But she's tall around 5ft 10in a little shorter than Erik. She has wavy blonde hair that she always puts in a ponytail to keep it out of her face. Then, she has these ridiculous Hazel eyes that always seem to change color. (When she gets mad, they flash violet.) Then, she has nice pink lips. (This is creepy, I'm like her uncle.) Anyways, personality.

Personality: Caroline is similar to her mom Maria, but she gets the fairness and stuff from her dad. She is undoubtedly the leader of our group and calls the shots. (Most everyone is afraid to cross her.) Keeping with the cliche, she wears a cape. (Stupid I know.) For a girl who's so sensible, she can so be so hard headed, it's vexing.

She is also an environmental nut. She's always chastising me for not recycling and became vegetarian three years ago. (She loves her dog Spot and cat Gracie. The cat scratched me. I think she told it to do that.)

She's got no secret strength from her dad or anything, (thank her mom the agent) so she fights with her arms and legs. And a big gun if she has it. She is very good at taking hard things and shows a brave face most of the time. (Her brother is a whiney asshole a lot.) (STOP CAP I DIDN'T MEAN IT! NOT THE SHEIL-) I should watch what I say. Back to Caroline. She's all about honor and respect. It's like,

Me: *Pushes old lady*

Caroline: *Punches me in the face*

My jaw still hurts from that. (The old lady tried to steal the last muffin tin and some green-monster-who-shall-not-be-named destroyed mine.) So, Caroline is all, respect your elders and I'm all, Puh-lease. So she's like her dad in that sense. She also hates to kill people. It's some sort of foreign concept that you kill the super villain once you've captured him. I mean, did her daddy not teach her that during homeschooling? (Oh god, here comes the shield again. I'm gonna wrap this up.) Caroline, respect, agent, vegetarian. Done.

Next up- MY BOY COLIN!


	5. Colin Philip Stark

Name: Colin Philip Stark

Age: 22

Appearance: Colin is tall, like, 6ft 2in. His hair is black like mine, but slightly curlier, and he constantly gels and slicks it. He got Pepper's eyes though, piercing blue, and he got some of her freckles, though he tries to hide them with powder. His skin is tan. He works out, so he's pretty muscular. In short, he's like a blue-eyed me, and not just in appearances.

Personality: Colin is a playboy. Forever. He's nailed more girls than me, charmed more too. And he always seems to get away with it. (He never gets drinks thrown in his face. Well, only by Angel.) I think it might be because he's also just as efficient and organized as Pepper, so he knows legal ways of getting the girls to leave him alone.

He's also a genius. (Courtesy of me.) He loves cars, mechanics, engineering, and loud rock music. He spends long nights working in the shop on his cars or on his Iron Man suit. He made his first when he was seven. I was so proud. Though he is a genius, he often does a good job of hiding it, what with he work station being so clean and neat. But he never nags me about mine being gross, he leaves that to his mom. If there's one thing Colin isn't, its a nag. He pretty much lets every do what they want.

He's a super philanthropist. He gives money to every charity in the book, especially to the animals and the soldiers, the two groups he has made his cause. When he inherits the company, I'm sure he will advertise for these and will probably make sure that a decent portion of his own salary will go to them. (He won't exactly miss it with the pay he makes now. He doesn't even own the company yet!)

He's really responsible. So much more than I will ever be. I thank Pepper and her good genes. I know that I can go on vacation or to New York or do anything really, and can leave the company in his capable hands. He'll keep things afloat while I disappear and he'll make the necessary arrangements to bring me back when I'm needed. One time, I took Pepper to Bermuda for a month and came home to find everything functioning perfectly. (He's that good.)

But he's still cocky and arrogant. (Even more so than me because he's more capable than I am.) He has no problem giving you a seven page list on all the great things about him. He will even autograph it and read it aloud. He gets in trouble with Angel and Caroline for doubting them and glorifying himself all the time. He makes smart-ass remarks about his good looks, complains that he doesn't get enough play and relishes in his having saved the day almost as many times as Angel. Almost.

That was Colin. Next is Angel. Joy.


	6. Angelina Logan Barton

Name: Angelina "Angel" Logan Barton

Age: 21

Appearance: Starting with height, Angel is about 5ft 6in and is petite. She can still kick your ass. In fact, she bought me a pair of shorts that says _Property of Angel Barton _on the butt. I'm pretty sure that was her father's idea, that's his kind of humor. I wear them every year to her birthday, along with my favorite pair of bright pink tube socks. Getting back to how she looks, she has waist length auburn curls, and her father's pale blue eyes. They seem to be always searching for something that isn't there. If you get her really upset, she blushes a bright red, which means her face explodes into a million red dots. It's pretty funny.

Personality: Angel has gotten her name, because she has saved everyone more times then I care to count. I think she sees saving our asses as her job, because she does more saving then fighting in battles. Don't get me wrong, she has super ninja skills from her mother and her father's hawk vision, but she likes to stand on buildings rather than in the action on the ground. She says it's because it clears her thoughts. Try saying otherwise and you will be severely injured.

Angel is also very secretive, bordering on cold. She gets that from her mother. It can be very annoying, because you'll be in the middle of a war, and have no clue what she's going to do next. Colin complains about that all the time. She's also very intelligent and knows about a ton of subjects. (She's not as smart as me.) It's like she has this internal scanner that can look at something and know exactly how to kill it. Needless to say, it's useful when fighting alien monsters.

However, Angel can also be rash and unpredictable. (She stole _my_ job.) She could be in the middle of a battle with an alien, then she'll just stop, kick it in the groin, and climb up the side of a building, defeating the main control unit. See what I mean? She also rarely lets anybody else save the day on principle. Especially not Colin. (It seems that love and hate are two side of the same coin.)

Something else about Angel is that she is extremely organized. She has a count of every mission she's every been on and every kill she's made, and she has a map on her wall where she has pinpointed all the locations she and Colin have been on mission in. (They're partners if you didn't guess. Reminding her of this is lethal.) Even Pepper, the single most organized person in the world, admires her skills in this and tells her so. I swear, I have never seen to women get on the way Pepper and Angel do. They talk about everything, almost as close as sisters. So Pepper wasn't mad when Angel and Colin moved in together. Clint is a different story.

Angel also has a ferocious temper. Ferocious. She jumps to conclusions and doesn't try to hide her hatred of you. In fact, I think hatred empowers her. Yeah.

That's Angel. Next up, Matthias Odin.


	7. Matthias Kelman Odin

Name: Matthias Kelman Odin

Age: 21

Appearance: Matthias is the exact opposite of his older brother Sander. (And not just in looks.) He has long, golden blonde hair and light, almond shaped green eyes. He's super tall and super buff. He has these massive arm muscles that look as though he could tear you limb from limb. (If he wasn't a lazy bum, he just might.)

Personality: Matthias is so much smarter then his brother. So much. He's like a breath of fresh air in that stuffy family. He knows the answer to pretty much everything, like he has a file cabinet in his brain. But he's not arrogant about it, he just has a quiet confidence. (Apparently girls like that. Tell that the piles of broken hearts _I_ left behind.)

He is very quiet and calculating. He refuses to give his opinion unless forced, and when he does, it is well informed and rational. He thinks like Brucie actually.

He is never rude. Like, even if you made him fish guts, he'd just nod and be like, "Thank you." I don't understand it at all. When his family moved into Avengers' tower, he looked around and quietly complemented Pepper on her decorating skills. (She's loved him since then.) The only time I actually saw him get really mad was when Sander insulted him. Then he lashed out brutally. Nobody has crossed him since then.

One thing Matthias is not is warm. He does not invite you over to talk to him and not strike up conversation. He will speak pleasantly if you approach him, but he keeps his distance. (I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out ways to annoy him.)

He can be lazy and generally smirks if you ask for his help. He has a soft spot for the ladies though, except for Caroline, his big enemy. (It's because he tries to be leader sometimes.) But if I ask him for help, he's all, "Make a robot to do it for you", like I can pull it out of my ass. (I totally can.)

That was Matthias. Next is Andy :(


End file.
